And Again.
A friend is one who has the same enemies you have. A.L.
Finally getting my back tattoo of five turtles completed by the amazing Liz Miller!
You should know by now that I am a very….. different kind of person.
I speak my mind when it hits me, I rarely hesitate to share.
I’m pretty selfish. I don’t like sharing things. Like my coffee, ice cream, or my french fries.
And during a small three month period of my life, I made some really stupid choices really close together.
AKA: My getting married and now in the process of divorce.
SO. The good part.
I shall give you some back story first.
When I was in fourth grade, there was a girl in my class named Kayla. I met her when we had show and tell and she brought in her chinchilla. We were really good friends until eighth grade, when a girl named Sam moved to our little podunk town. Sam and I became best friends, but so did Sam and Kayla.
So, we were our own little group, but Kayla and I argued a lot, ever since fifth grade. I have found that the two people who argue the most are the two people are mirror images of one another. Like mothers and their daughters. Well, this was me and Kayla.
We continued arguing and Sam ended splitting her time between the two of us. And then less and less with me, so I started to resent her and Kayla.
After eighth grade, Kayla and Sam both moved away.
And I haven’t talked to Kayla since.
Until a few days ago. Randomly, she friend requested me on FB.
Today, she sent “Hey, sorry to butt in but, are you going through a divorce?” And I told her that yes, I have been for over a year.
Get this.
SHE HAS, TOO.
I was like, Oh my goodness.
We talked on FB chat for an hour or so this morning. We have a lot in common still, which is where my realization hit. “Maybe we are supposed to be friends.”
SO, SHE IS COMING OVER ON MONDAY AND SHE IS BRINGING HER SON.
Oh, yeah, she had a child during her marriage. I’m excited to meet him.
Ever get really excited, pumped up and just plum happy about an event, but then something happens and it all plummets to the ground? That’s what my Friday was like. I was so damn elated to be going to Boston and seeing my best friends, hanging out, having a fun time, etc.
Then, Diane is invited.
Really? I’m quite sure I have made it quite clear my distaste for her. I only dislike Chloe more. That’s a lot of dislike to beat, too.
You get so worried about keeping your best friends and staying close, preventing distance, but when shit like THAT ^^^^ happens, you just push me and Molly closer. I am amazing friends with her thanks to you. And granted, I adore Molly since we have almost everything common, but I like spending time with you when that was the original plan. It was, originally, supposed to be just you and me which turns into there being FIVE of us. Not two, but FIVE.
During this whole…. event, I somehow managed to keep my cool. Through her bitching, her comments about wanting to die every day [fucked up], and listening to her fucking yammer the whole hour plus drive home about boy bands this, boy bands that, blah, blah, blah. How did I even keep my head? No idea. I was ready to burst though, borderline burst. Usually, I don’t try and keep it in, but for the sake of your sixteen year old sister, I sucked it up. I’d rather not have her see me be nasty.
Future though, I’ll burst. Though, I will try my best to avoid being anywhere near her.
When a day goes the way today has gone, all I want to do is put my head through a wall.
I love children and all, and I adore the seven children I take care of.
Family One
Earl- boy, age 2
Family Two
Jarrett- boy, age 2
Jaiden- boy, age 6
Jasiah- boy, age 9
Family Three
Samuel- boy, age 8
Judah- boy, age 10
Chloe- girl, 12
Some days, such as this one, are a living hell.
I worked with all three families today, and am still with the third family.
I was with family two early this morning, all Jarrett did was fight me.
Then, in the afternoon, I was with family one, all Earl did was scream and cry.
Now, I am with family three. All Sam does is cry. All Judah does is fight me and then scream/cry. At least Chloe behaves. She actually helps me, which is a nice change.
Aaaand Judah has resumed his bitching.
Ever thought about chucking your laptop at someone? Well, my lovely Acer Aspire 4530, prepare to meet Judah’s head.
You can tell in every little thing we do. Even when we argue, you can see that we have grown up. Not only are we arguing less, but we aren’t wasting our time arguing about stupid little things anymore. AND it takes far less time for who ever was wrong to apologize. Yes, even I say “sorry.”
January 12th? Really? One month before my birthday, it has to snow. This means it is going to KEEP snowing.
Hanging out with the children from one of the families I nanny.
They’re father is out of town so I am doing a sleepover with the three of them.
It’s fun other than the fact that we are watching Big Time Rush. Bleeeeck.
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I’D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN’T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
‘SANTA DON’T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON’T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.’
THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN’T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT’S CHILL.
I DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, ‘CARRY ON SANTA,
IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.’
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
‘MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,!
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.’
